Only a short month ago, I was making big plans for wintering in Santa Barbara and Ojai, going to school, promoting my electric bicycle business in that warmer climate, and reconnecting with friends and family in that special place I love so much.
HA! Make God laugh ..... tell her your plans!!!
As it turns out, all my life since I was 14 (when my father died at age 50) I had been writing on medical forms that he died of stomach cancer, which is apparently non-hereditary. While speaking with my step-mother, who I basically have not been around since my father's funeral 40 years ago, she confirmed that -- no, he had actually died of pancreatic cancer.
I feel that this is important to share with all of you because I imagine that many of you were thinking: if "state-of-health/does-everything-right Nancy" can get cancer, we're all toast! So, as it turns out, I am the "good-luck/bad-luck who knows" recipient of my father's pancreatic cancer gene. This explains alot. It is good to know the source of this malady.
Within the last month, my life has taken on the pursuit of many strange, fascinating, and bizarre studies. I've been to the Marin Chapter of the International Association of Near Death Studies and listened to many a story of people who have peered through the veils and come back to tell their experiences of the other side. I've received a Vedic Astrology reading revealing a probable (but not determinate) sense of when I might be passing to the other side myself. I've been through a Native American Lowampi healing ceremony. I've been signed up for Hospice and given access to all the palliative care I could possibly want. I've been poked and prodded, given many a blood sample, and now have a pic-line port in my arm that makes me partially bionic - so that I may get IV's of all sorts. I am going to be receiving psychic-surgery treatments, hands-on-healing, and more love and support than a girl could possibly hope for in her wildest dreams.
How's that for an interesting month?!
A support team is forming around me, and I often feel the strangest mix of elation and sadness. People from all segments of my life have been reaching out to me, and I am so grateful for all the love that is being sent my way.
I have much more to share, and will do so soon. For now, I'm off to play music with friends!
40 comments:
Thinking of you and sending love,
Bobbi
Dear Nancy,
I hope you are sleeping peacefully right now. I'm still up (have always been a night-owl), thinking of you and sending you lots of love. You are such a ray of light ....
I've put up some directions for viewing and posting comments (on the right, above the "table of contents"). Tomorrow I'll get some folks to see if they are clear, and will try to reach anyone who's had trouble posting!
Love you, dear Nancy,
Lani
New Year's Day, 2011
God Yard....
what better a destined name that that?
My darling girl, as she's been known to call me.
Has she called you that as well?
My darling girl... fierce, fragile, deep, joyful
all of the above and then some...
pastel tenderness, passionate southwestern, psychedelic luminous...
all these and more are the colours that weave the tapestry that is Nancy.
Yesterday, I kissed her feet, compelled as my head was near the bottom of her Priestess chaise.
I kissed her feet, praising her Earthwalk and the privilege of the steps we took/take together.
I fell in love the first time we talked on a couch at La Tierra, even as I'd known of her before--
somewhere out there-- our waiting to for our friendship to begin.
Travels to the Canyon, a Vision Quest, countless circles, ceremonies, nature walks and talks, weaving songs, listening to Acoustic Medicine on tape and teasing out Nancy's voice rising above and through.
So deeply sweet and soothing... lifing my heart, spirit, mind to realms beyond this body.
God Yard.
Yes, “our darling girl”..
with a heart, a spirit, a soul that holds it and us all..
beckoning us to wake up, to create community, to be vulnerable, to fully incarnate.
I'm grateful that a palpable measure of peace had found her sometime in the past couple of years:
Less angst and more serenity, joy and hope for creating communities north and south.
I simply shake my head in wonder, moved by how we are each and all being moved
in this dance of Nancy's last. Wondering at the karmas, the contracts, the awakenings, the joys and tenderness... knowing that we are each and all never to be the same as that day two months ago
when mind and heart, innocence and imagination got shattered into the Infinite.
God Yard, Goddard. Nancy.
Love
Hrieth
Hello Lovely Radiant YOU! I've been thinking about you a lot today, and am sending you loving, peaceful energy in this moment.
I've arrived back in Sebastopol from holiday travel and will stop by to visit you very soon.
Much Love and Admiration for you...♥
Carson
Nancy Love,
Liz and Laura sending you the howls of the monkeys and the warm breeze of the Caribbean.
Thinking of you mucho ayer a la playa...wondering of how you journey in this opening of 2011.
We are calmly, eager for an update.
Appreciate this blog as a way to touch in. Thank you for the poem, thank you for the photos.
The Brahman ritual on the creek at the Rim Institute is firm in my memory as I hold you close to my heart.
Also the blessing of re-finding you at Avalon.
Much Love, In the Light-Liz Faller (Laura is at the beach)
Nancy - who knows what made me want to look you up on the web out of the blue... But I read your beautiful, eloquent and truly masterful letter and I just want to be counted amongst those who love you and admire you and have been deeply touched and blessed by your awesome spirit. Everything you wrote about death is true to my own heart. Yes, leaving is sad AND who could not be excited by the prospect of such huge expansion. Your work, our gifts, your wide and vast spirit continues on your joy-filled journey. I am behind you all the way, girlfriend. And at your service.
Love, Lindsay
iyabattle@gmail.com
Happy Birthday to you seems like Happy Birthday to us, as you are gifting us all so much from the depths of your feminine wisdom in this passage...
Love to you
Mellissa
mellissa@avalonsprings.com
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